{"id":4439,"date":"2018-10-02T16:50:34","date_gmt":"2018-10-02T16:50:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/?p=4439"},"modified":"2019-10-02T19:12:40","modified_gmt":"2019-10-02T19:12:40","slug":"year-8-day-2923-look-back-but-dont-stare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/2018\/10\/02\/year-8-day-2923-look-back-but-dont-stare\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Years; Day 2,923 \u2013 Look Back but Don\u2019t Stare"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi Everyone, <\/span><\/p>\n

Eight years; another milestone. In the grand scheme of things, eight years is not a long period of time. In the course of recovery; 2,923 days is a BIG number!<\/p>\n

Milestones are life\u2019s markers to reflect on past achievements and lessons learned. <\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019ll start with Miss Corey: she has been consistent with her \u2018slow but steady\u2019 progress since 2010. She\u2019s come a long way over the last eight years but truthfully, her greatest stride has been since her fall from the chairlift in November of 2016.<\/p>\n

Since her fall, Corey has worked hard to regain her stamina and strength to stand. She was accepted back to Bryn Mawr in Feb 2018 for out-patient PT. Shortly after starting her day treatment, she lost function of her left arm\/hand partly from tone and partly from a pinched nerve. Fortunately, in April 2018, we could add OT to the day program. Corey worked with two of our favorite therapists that have known her since Day 1; Natalie and Anne. After 6months of PT and 4 months of OT, she graduated from her forearm cane and is now walking with a \u2018regular\u2019 cane. That is a huge improvement as it requires less dependence on a crutch. Discharged the end of July, we are re-creating our home program to try to maintain and advance the progress she made with her therapy team. Her hand and arm continue to be a challenge but we\u2019re hopeful her cooking will continue to motivate her. <\/span><\/p>\n

Corey started speech therapy in August at the University of Delaware; which is enhanced by her weekly home Music Therapy sessions. Her speech has not come back from the fall in 2016 and we are hoping to develop the tongue muscles to help her vocal clarity. We also continue to work with cognitive strategies and tools to help her with her short-term\/long-term memory, as well. <\/span><\/p>\n

Lesson\u2019s learned? \u201cLook back but don\u2019t stare\u201d\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\n

Dear friends, I can tell you our days haven\u2019t gotten easier. In 2010, Corey\u2019s accident literally crashed us into this TBI world but the real emotional crash came in 2017. Some people teased me, \u201cit only took you 7 years\u201d. I assure you, I didn\u2019t have blinders on during the early days; nor, did I have a false sense of reality with each year that passed. As Corey\u2019s caregiver, it\u2019s my job to learn, fight, advocate, create new strategies, stay focused on the positive, and keep pushing us towards the quality of life we both lost and yearn to regain. <\/span><\/p>\n

After her fall, I knew too much. I remembered every struggle, every baby step, every set back, every fight and every ounce of the weight of my responsibility to Corey and my family. What I didn\u2019t know, was how to take care of me. The thought of starting over leveled me. It was the hardest year since the initial injury. <\/span><\/p>\n

2018, Corey was getting therapy and I realized it was more important than ever for me to start my self-care. It is my turn to recover; as a caregiver, as a mom, as a woman. As a full-time caregiver, it\u2019s not always possible to take a day off or go on vacation. Weekends are just an extension of the long week we just completed. The airlines always tell you, put the oxygen mask on yourself before you can help another\u2026as a friend said, \u201cIt only took me 7years\u201d to figure that out.<\/p>\n

I had to create my moments. As hard as Corey works to relearn how to walk, I had to work equally as hard to take care of myself. First, I had to practice being conscious of my thoughts. Every time a negative came to mind, I deliberately (and sometimes sarcastically) change it to a positive. Our daily schedule is dictated by Corey\u2019s personal and physical rehab but I slowly became dedicated to my own exercise\u2026mindfulness. I started with 10 minutes a day reading something uplifting, or watching comedian\u2019s videos on YouTube. I began to journal again; writing letters to myself. I took conscious moments to stand and stare at my Orchids. I took time to look out the window to appreciate the weather (rain or shine).  <\/span>True confession; I started my favorite secret pleasure: putting on a Cher song to dance and sing around the kitchen (Corey doesn\u2019t judge). <\/span><\/p>\n

When I could get out of the house alone, I\u2019d go for walks through Longwood Gardens, go to the movies or go to a driving range to hit golf balls. <\/span><\/p>\n

Important reality note: Time off isn\u2019t always time \u201coff\u201d. Although I\u2019m out and alone trying to relax, my mind continues to think of Corey, and my respite caregiver; Caitlin. Caitlin does an incredible job caring for Corey but she, too, balances her emotions every time she visits Corey. If Corey\u2019s having a bad day, it hits Caitlin differently than me. She tries to give me time off while coping with her emotions as a sister and a daughter. PTSD is not just for the survivor\u2026it\u2019s for the family, too.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s ok to emotionally crash and feel the physical exhaustion. That\u2019s the \u2018looking back\u2019 part. Mindfulness is the \u2018don\u2019t stare\u2019 piece. Mindfulness redirects my stare away from what \u2018we lost\u2019 or the habit of comparing ourselves to others. Mindfulness helps heal, strengthen, and re-teaches balance. Daily mindfulness takes the same deliberate practice and is equally as hard as physical exercise. But in time, I\u2019ve met Marie again (btw, she\u2019s fun to be around).<\/p>\n

Although we are not where we want to be, we are miles ahead of where we were. We had two major changes to our family in 2018: Caitlin and Cory James were married and we welcomed JohnPaul and Jackie\u2019s son, Carson, two weeks later! I\u2019m officially a Nana\u2026talk about re-directing your stare\u2026I can\u2019t stop looking at this beautiful little man.<\/p>\n

With big life changes, comes fear and doubt. Sometimes we still get pulled into big, answerless questions like \u201cWhat am I supposed to be doing with my life? What would I be doing if the accident never happened?\u201d While we may never know what we\u2019re supposed <\/i>to be doing, we know what we want to do next<\/i>.<\/p>\n

We will soon be introducing Chef Corey\u2019s new personal chef service. To keep her cooking skills moving forward, Corey will plan a menu, grocery shop, and cook meals by request for families and occasions in our local community including Meals on Wheels! We\u2019ll keep you posted as we are going through testing stages now, but we\u2019ll soon be ready for reservations! <\/span><\/p>\n

Corey and I are looking \u2018forward\u2019 to more cooking, more dancing in the kitchen, more long distance walking, more socializing with friends and family, more playdates with Carson and more contact with all of you via our blog posts. <\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you for your friendship, support and keeping us in your continued prayers for the last 8 years. I am especially grateful for the mindfulness to NEVER GIVE UP AND NEVER GIVE IN, xoxo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi Everyone,  Eight years; another milestone. In the grand scheme of things, eight years is not a long period of time. In the course of recovery; 2,923 days is a BIG number! Milestones are life\u2019s markers to reflect on past achievements and lessons learned.  We\u2019ll start with Miss Corey: she has been consistent with her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8uvRo-19B","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4439"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4439"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4439\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4439"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4439"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.recoverythyme.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4439"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}