I remember when JohnPaul was 10 months old he developed a fever of 105. He was admitted to the hospital for almost two weeks. After many blood tests and an epidural, it was decided he had a virus of unknown origin. My brother Frank called from London to check in. We discussed the details of what JohnPaul was going through.
Frank asked me if I looked at the fever section of the Parent Handbook. I was very confused, “what Parent Handbook”? Frank replied; “you know, the one the hospital gives you when you bring your baby home”. I paused and thought, ‘I never got a Parent Handbook’…”What Parent Handbook”? “There’s a chapter on fevers”?
Frank confirmed that it’s sandwiched between the discipline and the stages of raising your child. It took a few minutes but I finally caught on to his sarcasm. “Right, the Parent Handbook…I think that chapter was missing from mine”. He consoled me by confiding that his book was missing the discipline and child rearing chapters.
Tonight, I find myself wishing there was a TBI Handbook! I believe Corey has entered a new phase of her recovery and we don’t have the chapter to refer to. It is amazing that this path we’re on is similar to the path we took when the kids were younger. As a parent you don’t feel qualified yet you’re 100% responsible for these little people. You rely on 50% instinct and 50% trial and error.
The same formula applies today. Corey has been agitated, fatigued, a bit lethargic and has lost some of her motivation. I have a call into the seizure doctor regarding the increased dosage of her medication as a possible cause. It could also be sheer frustration and a small bit of depression. This is especially common for young woman her age (with or without a brain injury). Bottom line…we’ve got no idea and we just have to roll with it.
Corey some days are good days, some days are bad. Some days you just want to stay in bed and sleep all day. Actually, you’re 100% normal today! Try to remember that although things don’t always go well, they’re still going. There will be days you’ll feel as if you’ve stepped backwards and the frustrations along the way will not only surface, they’ll boil over. The key phrase is “along the way.” This is not forever honey. You are moving forward and getting stronger every day. The “some days” happen to all of us but it’s EVERY DAY that is most important. Let’s not worry about where the missing chapters are…it doesn’t matter because you’re rewriting them! xoxo